From The Classifieds

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER: 8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites.

FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.

FREE PUPPIES: Mother, AKC German Shepherd. Father, Super Dog - able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG: Looks like a rat ... been out a while. Better be a reward.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED: Also 1 gay bull for sale.

NORDIC TRACK: $300 Hardly used, call Chubby.

GEORGIA PEACHES: California grown - 89 cents lb.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY: Must sell washer and dryer $300.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE - WORN ONCE BY MISTAKE: Call Stephanie.

FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, got married last month. Wife knows everything.