Drinks and Sparkling Conversation
There's a parking lot around the corner from the studio where I park the truck. Its right across from the new grille. I've mentioned it before. Tonight it was packed full of vehicles. I have to really concentrate when I back out of my spot, because I'm used to being the only car to leave after 6 pm!
No I didn't back into anyone... I almost backed over some bodies though.. those bodies were old friends. I rolled the truck window down and we chatted a min. I was invited to join them for a drink. They were early for their reservations and planned to have a drink or two at the bar. I hesitated briefly... it was Carolyn and Joe--a married couple that used to pal around sometimes with Al and me. I had seen them around here and there. We would say hi and they always ask about Al.
Tonight was no exception. Joe blocked my path and wouldn't move, so I complied and re-parked the truck. I felt under-dressed in jeans and a sweater but figured one drink wouldn't hurt. After we found a place at the bar and ordered, they both asked about Al. I really don't know how he's doing. I haven't talked to him since June when he called and we discussed my up and coming poetry book.
For a few minutes there was an uncomfortable silence. Some people think I shouldn't have given up on Al. Their disappointment in me is clear, even if they don't know its showing. Carolyn broke the silence by bringing up fun times we four once had. I wonder if she realized how sad it made me... how bittersweet those memories are. No naturally she wouldn't. She and Joe never knew the person Al really was--most alcoholics are good-time party people. They usually left before the one drink that pushed him over the limit, the one that changed him into either a bitter drunk or a sad one.
So I smiled and I laughed and I drank fast. I could have told them how things really were, but then that would change their memories of Al. Why spoil it for them? As I left, I drove home slowly thinking how I had once again covered for Al. How ironic that I am still doing it. For a moment I was angry but then it hit me, I didn't cover for Al. I chose not to expose him and that's an entirely different state.... and....
I know all about soft underbellies.
No I didn't back into anyone... I almost backed over some bodies though.. those bodies were old friends. I rolled the truck window down and we chatted a min. I was invited to join them for a drink. They were early for their reservations and planned to have a drink or two at the bar. I hesitated briefly... it was Carolyn and Joe--a married couple that used to pal around sometimes with Al and me. I had seen them around here and there. We would say hi and they always ask about Al.
Tonight was no exception. Joe blocked my path and wouldn't move, so I complied and re-parked the truck. I felt under-dressed in jeans and a sweater but figured one drink wouldn't hurt. After we found a place at the bar and ordered, they both asked about Al. I really don't know how he's doing. I haven't talked to him since June when he called and we discussed my up and coming poetry book.
For a few minutes there was an uncomfortable silence. Some people think I shouldn't have given up on Al. Their disappointment in me is clear, even if they don't know its showing. Carolyn broke the silence by bringing up fun times we four once had. I wonder if she realized how sad it made me... how bittersweet those memories are. No naturally she wouldn't. She and Joe never knew the person Al really was--most alcoholics are good-time party people. They usually left before the one drink that pushed him over the limit, the one that changed him into either a bitter drunk or a sad one.
So I smiled and I laughed and I drank fast. I could have told them how things really were, but then that would change their memories of Al. Why spoil it for them? As I left, I drove home slowly thinking how I had once again covered for Al. How ironic that I am still doing it. For a moment I was angry but then it hit me, I didn't cover for Al. I chose not to expose him and that's an entirely different state.... and....
I know all about soft underbellies.
dribbled by Sherrie @ 12/02/2004 11:14:00 PM
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