Boys and Nail Polish

After work yesterday, I rode by my sister's house to see the nephews. I hadn't seen them since Christmas day. Boy, were they happy to see me. We played with their new toys for a while and when I was leaving both of them clung to me. Next thing I hear is Lisa saying "Do you boys want to spend the night with Aunt Sherrie?" Ben's answer was to run to their bedroom and get his little dog that he sleeps with. William shouted out, "Yes Ma'am!"

So they came home with me. We made some supper and then got a bath. After the bath, we got on the computer and played games. William got bored and went into the den to play with his gameboy. Ben and I worked on his computer skills. He's not allowed on the computer at school because he doesn't know how to use the mouse very well. Which is total bullshit. Isn't that what school's about? To teach our children? Well, we worked on it and he's learning fast.

After that we watched part of Toy Story 2. Its amazing how they can watch something over and over and still ask me questions!!!

At one point while we were playing with the PC. William would ask me to play some of his new games and when I did what he asked, he would yell at me. Especially if I screwed up. I kept reminding him that I was learning too. I knew he was acting like he was partly because he was tired and partly because Lisa lets the boys getaway with more than I do...and he's been around her 24 hrs a day for 8 days.

So what do I do? I get up and tell William not to be mean to me, that I can't help if I can't play the game like he wants and he's hurt my feelings so I'm going to leave and join the circus. I left the room with the sole purpose of putting their cups of milk back in the fridge. While I was in the kitchen I stacked the dishes and put away the trays they ate on. As I standing at the sink, I suddenly felt two little arms wrap around my left leg. It was Ben. He was distract, saying "I love you, Sherdee, don't go to the circus. Stay with me."

I laughed and picked him up into my arms. He kissed my cheek and I couldn't help but hug him tight. "I'll stay here. I won't go to the circus. All because you love me."

With that we went back to the computer room. His arms around my neck were the warmest thing I've ever felt.

oh yea.. Nail polish

I forgot to add the nail polish part. Ben helped me polish my toe nails metallic pink. He got it all over my toes... I mean the fleshy parts more so than the nails. He's gonna be a regular Picasso.. lol Thank heavens for nail polish remover and Q-tips.

Savage Nature

I can't get over the tragedy that struck South Asia. The death toll is something I can't imagine...its my town's population almost 4 times over!!! I watched the news on TV last night and this morning and I wept. The street corner preacher came in this morning and said that it's the end of times. God's coming soon. I don't know about that.. I do know God's trying to tell us something... we've got to listen... now that he's got our attention.

When I first started writing erotica back in 99, my first ever fan was an older man from Poland. I call him Uncle Woody. He wrote to me and I surprised him by replying. From there we've developed a friendship that has lasted all this time. He does translations to English for companies in Poland. His wife is somewhat sickly but he takes her on a month long vacation every year. Usually to Greece. He'll send me hints with langtitude and longatude. When I give up, he'll give me the location. This year his visit was to Thailand. He took it in Nov. Below is his email. He sent me upon his return... he included the most beautiful photos. Excuse his English--after all he's from Poland.


Dear Sherrie,
It was long month. I’ve seen many Thai beauties – long sandy beaches, completely empty, picturesque islands, coconut palms. Very warm sea (more than 85 F) excellent for swim. I have spent three weeks living on four islands where there was electricity at day (only from 6 pm up to midnight). There wasn’t cell phone connection too so my notebook worked as store for pictures. We were gone from island to island by Chao-Lae’s (“sea gipsy”) longboats. Last few days I was in Bangkok visiting Buddhist’s temples, king palace and museums. Unforgettably sights. I am arrived to home yesterday and have lot of to do, especially make correction to pictures (I’ve shoot about 400).
I write more soon.
Kisses – Woody


Then today I received this email from him with another photo of some Thai boats.


Dear Sherrie,
Have you heard what happened in Thailand? I am lucky to be at Christmas home. I have been in this region. Lived in many islands. I don’t know if peoples I’ve met are alive, have their small huts, boats. What I remember that any time I have seen fishermen’s boats at see. What happened to beautifully beeches I spent holiday? It is tragedy. This was high tourist season. I have read that more than 1500 Swedish was missed, 800 Norwegians many Germans and few only Poles. This accident showing how humans are vulnerable and how nature is strong.
These three last days I am watching TV, reading Internet’s news and sorrow. Why?
kisses
Woody

I was at a loss as to how to reply. So I kept it simple:

Dear Woody

My soul weeps for South Asia. It is horrible--the loss of lives and homes. I thought of you when I first heard the news. I have the lovely pictures you sent me and I am thankful that you were not there when the Tsunami hit. Even as I wept for those that were lost. God is telling us something--that we are not Gods. Mother Nature is stronger and shows no mercy. All we can do is pray and be the best that we can be.

I do know this.. you are special to me and I'm glad you are here.
Kisses
Sherrie

A few more days left of 2004

I had a great Christmas. Got some cool gifts...like a chocolate voodoo doll... a handbag shaped like a corset...a watch with goofy, donald and mickey mouse on the face...some nifty clothes and a lot of body and bath works lotion, body wash and ect.... and that's to name just a few of the items.

But the best part was the laughter with family and watching the nephews open presents. I told one of my friends that the best present I got was from William who gave me a big Christmas hug and a sloppy kiss.

The day after Christmas we had an ice storm. So I didn't leave the house. Hung out with Granny and did some reading.

Yesterday Mom and I went shopping though we didn't buy anything. I wrote some poems for my second poetry book and did a few chores around the house, like take down the tree... I felt the urge to de-christmasize the place...so I did.

Today I'm at work...sipping coffee and thinking about how I wish I had of asked Santa for another day off.

Merry Holidays and

may Santa bring me lots of good stuff...

I wish everyone a happy holiday.

xxooxxoo
Me

Happy Holidays

Sorry I haven't posted lately... been busy doing top secret Christmas stuff.

Finally slowing down today and I hope that after the holidays I can get back to doing what I love... writing and being silly and...chasing men. lol

What will I do if I catch one?????

So I hope everyone has a happy holiday. Be safe... xxooxxxoo

Update on My Poetry book

I sent in the final ok on the last proof and the book is now in the art department getting the cover done...once I ok that, the book should be ready within a month or so. I'm hoping by March.

No more Scroogette

My headache is gone and I've been singing Christmas songs!

We survived last night--the boys and I did. When I got home, they ran to me almost knocking me over with little boy hugs. I hadn't seen them in 3 days and it amazed me how much they missed me. I got lots of kisses, which they rarely like to give. We had a great night of Harry Potter, The Grinch and playing with cars.

Today its been busy at work but not frantic. I've been keeping up and am actually able to take on the last minute rush without feeling overwhelmed. Wish Dad was as organized.

Still got some shopping to do. I may wait until tomorrow to do it. Now that I've got the Christmas spirit I think I can handle the shopping--even if it will be packed and madness abound.

headaches and white pages

...all tied up in strings...these are a few of my favorite things..

NOT

At home we're dealing with slow ISP and white pages. We spend an hour trying to log into yahoo or other websites. I guess after the holidays I'll have to spend a day on the phone with Dell and try and figure out what's going on.

Had the worst headache all weekend. Today I feel drained and its hard to focus which makes my job difficult. But I'll manage somehow.

Mom and my sister have their Christmas party at work tonight, so that means I'll have to get home early and keep the nephews. Lisa called and said Ben's into everything and full of energy. Oh boy... just what I need. He's excited about Christmas. I'll have to do something...maybe make cookies tonight. yea.. that's the ticket.

Printing

While the printer is running I thought I would pop in and post something.
Its hectic here, like it is every year during the holiday season. I imagine next week will be even crazier.

I hope to pop in later tonight or maybe tomorrow while I'm printing and post a few things.

In the meantime, be safe everyone... and know I love ya.

Semi-Precious Love

Should the moon fall from the sky
and shatter into a million pieces,
would I find you there
in the opals and sapphire stones
that make up the moon's soul?

Or will I find you in the diamond
that hides in the heart of stars?
Or the pearls that cling to sea foam?
Maybe you are the rubies that
gives the center of the earth its fire.

I have searched the earth for you;
in the red clay and granite of gray,
in the pine and oak silent in winter.
But you are always a step away,
fingers reaching to brush your back.

One day the world will stop,
frozen time the icicle of eternity.
I shall be prepared for this moment,
because when the world ceases movement
so will you, my semi-precious love.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Working away on a photograph, the first two lines came to me. As I continued to work, I found myself writing this poem in my head. So I stopped and came here to finish it. A poem that wrote me instead of me writing it.

Mr. Horne

He was one of my 7 th and 8th grade treachers. History was his forte. We loved him because he was fun without being too lax and made learning a pleasure. He came to the studio today to drop off some restoration work. He found some old tin-type prints of his grandparents. I heard his voice before I saw him. He told Dad that he was told the we were the place that could perform miracles on photos.

I thought, "That sounds like Mr. Horne." So I hustled to the front desk and sure enough it was. I asked if he remembered me. He gave me a big hug and said he did. Then asked about my sister and brother. We chatted for a min. Then he turned to Dad and said, "This young lady was one of my brightest students."

Dad smiled and said, "Sir, she's the one who does the miracles around here."

I was surprised Dad said that because he doesn't like to give anyone credit. His ego usually gets ruffled when someone praises my work over his...even though its totally different from what he does.

Mr. Horne told Dad that he wasn't surprised that I did such good work, because I was a dedicated student and everything I did in school was always above average.

Hearing him say those nice things about me made me feel young and also...made me feel proud to think of the thousands of students he taught over the years that I was one of those that he remembered so fondly.

Winter's Frost

Frost finally broke the spirit of the last dogwood leaf.
I watched it fall, spiraling down to the ice-tipped grass.
A vision to appreciate on a cold winter morning,
poignant and timeless like a touch of lace on skin.

December days are wrapped in chilly blankets,
a cocoon of forgotten dreams embossed in frost.
Though I won’t admit it, I try to ambush winter,
so I can reclaim those dreams, even if they’re dying.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Winter has chilled me tonight.

Sleep is Elusive

sleep is elusive
like a phantom
beyond my lashes

I turn to you
to breathe Braille
on your skin

so I can
read you in
the darkness

one would think
that after all
the intimacy

over space and time,
over rivers and mountains
that we would tire

of the smell of sex
the taste of lust
and the heat of carnalness

but we never do
sometimes it's best
not to think

too much

Christmas Jokes

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes.

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic.

Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can ho-ho-ho.

Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.

What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
Sandy Claus!

How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
Fleece Navidad!

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.

How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer 'Olive'?

Olive? Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names..."

There once was a czar in Russia whose name was Rudolph the Great. He was standing in his house one day with his wife. He looked out the window and saw something happening. He says to his wife,"Look honey. Its raining." She, being the obstinate type, responded,"I don't think so, dear. I think it's snowing." But Rudolph knew better. So he says to his wife,"Let's step outside and we'll find out." Lo and behold, they step outside and discover it was in fact rain. And Rudolph turns to his wife and replies," I knew it was raining. Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"

Remembering an old friend

Tomorrow will mark the 2nd anniversary of my friend Dan's death. He died from colon cancer on Dec 15, 2002. It was swift. He was diagnosed in Oct. He was only 50. A young 50. Ate right, swam every day...in top shape.

Dan worked with a major newspaper up North. He worked in the hometown of my first college roommate. A handsome funny personable guy...short and balding...his hero was Bruce Willis. Mainly because he resembled Bruce. lol

One thing Dan and I had in commom besides the gift of writing, was heartache. We both went through a difficult breakup at the same time. His wife of 11 years left him for another man. And of course, if you read here you know I am referring to my breakup with Allen. I listened to Dan more than he did me though. You know how most friendships are--one person does more giving than the other. I didn't mind. I was stronger than he was. I could control my heartache, he couldn't. We rarely disagreed, except on one occasion--he told me that his heartache was greater because he had been married and I hadn't. He had invested 11 years and I had only 6 years of "dating."

Talk about setting off my sting! I disagree even to this day. Heartache is always devastating. You can't measure love in years! I loved Allen like I have never loved before or since. No one can understand the pain I went through, cutting him out of my life--going back out into a world that was less colorful because he wasn't in it with me. I did the right thing and don't regret it now, but when Dan said that, I felt as if I hadn't hung in there with Al like I should have. It took a while for me to get over his theory but if you're truly a friend with someone, you find a way to move over the rough spot in the road.

I watched Dan grieve. I listened to him cry, to his recounting the dreams that he and his wife had shared... and I lent my shoulder. I don't regret doing that at all. He loved deeply and it was only natural that he grieve as deep. He once told me that it takes 3 years to get over a relationship. At first I laughed but now I agree. So after 3 years of grieving, he was ready to start dating again.

So I became his sounding board about the dates he had and the 'actions' or 'non-actions' of the women he dated. He would call me the day after a date and we would discuss it. I would give him my thoughts and I always silently laughed at him. Because if my thoughts grooved with what he wanted, he was happy...but if I gave a different perception, he would spend an hour trying to tell me I was wrong.... and I would silently tick off time, waiting for the call that would always come...the one where he would say, "Ok, Sherrie Rose. You were right."

The last time I talked to Dan was in Sept of 2002. It was about a young Flight Attentant that he was attracted too... the same old conversation we always had about the women he liked, who sent out opposite signs and my advice that he was wasting time. I remember laughing at him, as he described what he was looking for in a woman--humor, good work ethics, kindness, someone not afraid to express themselves, sexy and supportive...the list went on. I laughed and told him he was looking for a Sherrie Rose clone. He agreed and we both laughed. And we knew that as friends we would never step over the line--because we had something special.

I tried to call Dan a few times after that conversation. But never got an answer. I sent emails, asking if he was ok. No answer. It wasn't until after the holidays that I decided to do a search to see if had written anything recently in his newspaper... and I got an obituary--his! The wind was knocked out of me and I couldn't believe it. I emailed one of the people in the section he worked in asking about him. She emailed me that he fought to the end, and how sad it was that he couldn't seem to grasp that he was dying. How those around him tried to get him to contact people that knew him and say goodbye. He wouldn't do it. I know how tenacious he was...and found myself smiling through the tears--he never could accept something that didn't go along with his plans for life. Even as he was dying, sadly he clung to that philosophy.

For a while I was mad at him, for not calling me and telling me what was going on, but then again, I would have been beside myself--feeling helpless. It would have torn me apart, watching him deny what was happening to him. I don't know how that would have affected me in the long run.

I miss him. Even now. It wasn't until this summer that I finally stopped picking up the phone to call him. The first time I did it, I cried. It ripped me apart knowing I couldn't talk to him about anything and hear his funny comments or flirt harmlessly with him, because I do love to flirt and he knew how to flirt back.

He encouraged me to write. He encouraged me to give others a chance to touch my heart. I learned how to listen and really hear what someone says...all because of Dan.

I loved him and still do. Because love never dies... it lives forever.

Brrr...again

It's so cold in this darn building that my nipples can't help but point it out. And they have been registered with the local police as deadly weapons. I have to wear a label across my chest that says "Beware of sharp objects."

I'm thinking a padded bra might be a good investment this winter. If I don't do something to get them warm, they'll break off. I just know it.

Brrr...

Today its around 42 or so. Last week, we had temps in the upper 60's and 70's. I thought I was ready for cold weather...well, I'm changing my mind.

Ok Girls...

George, you go over there (pointing to the opposite side of the room) and Elton, you go over there (pointing in the other direction).

No more catfighting.

Shell

Winter, cold and distant
sits outside my window,
scratching lightly
in the guise of wind.

A fire burns inside me
that gives the illusion
of a flame boiling
in the hearth.

He is gone, my summer sun.
The taste of sunshine
lingers on my tongue,
an afterthought of love.

I sit by the fireplace,
staring at the remains of
walnut shells on the stone,
a grease-stained memory.

If I manage to
reconstruct the shell
with glue and tears,
will I be able to hide…

away inside?

Plaids, Polka Dots and Florals

........................................... are the hardest things to restore on a picture---and the one I'm working on has all three!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lisa has Strep Throat and asked me to keep the boys tonight, so she can get a solid night's sleep. So I'm leaving work early to get them. Guess its chicken strips and fries for supper tonight!! That's what Ben told her I was cooking. lol... That kid knows me too well. lol

No Surprise

I pegged the Survivor winner last night. I won a buff lol.. just kidding.
Now... what's up with Jeff's attire choice after his dramatic entrance to the Reunion show??? Not his usual coolness! I was disappointed for a minute but... like usual I undressed him with my eyes within 5 seconds.

I didn't watch all the reunion show. Survivor is getting old. Nothing new really happens lately. I do believe its jumped the shark.

Turtle Dogs and Other Xmas News

William insists that there are no such things as turtle doves...

Busy is my new name, btw. I won't be answering to Sherrie until Dec 24 at 6 pm.

Woke up this morning and couldnt feel my right arm. I could see it but couldn't feel it. Talk about freaking out. I wiggled my fingers to see if I had control--that's when the pins and needles began. Phew... it was asleep. Never had that to happen before. Usually its just that hand..but this time it was the whole arm from finger tips to ball in socket. Pins and needles are no fun to wake up too... I looked at my arm and said, "Well Merry Good F&cking Morning to you too."

Since I'm tired of this song...Santa Baby

............................... I'll do a "William" and make up my own words.

"Santa Baby"

(^lyrics may offend the meek^)

Santa baby, slip a dildo under the tree, For me.

I've been an awful bad girl,

Santa baby, and hurry down my chimney tonight.

Santa baby, how bout anal beads too, Light blue.

And a giant tube of lube,

Santa baby, and hurry down my chimney tonight.

Think of all the fun you've missed,

Think of all the places that I haven't kissed,

Next year I could be oh so bad,

If you'd give me the naughty boys list,

Boo doo bee doo.[background]

Santa honey, Find my g-spot,

And I'll really cum a lot,

I'll be in heaven all year,

Santa baby, and hurry down my chimney tonight.

Santa cutie, there's one thing that I really need, The deed.

To an adult toy store,

Santa cutie, and hurry down my chimney tonight.

Santa baby, fishnet stockings with red bows, no hose.

Sign your 'X' on my thigh,

Santa baby, and hurry down my chimney tonight.

Come and trim my Christmas fur,

Add some decorations that'll make me pur,

I really am hot for you,

Let's see if you are hot for me,

Boo doo bee doo.[background]

Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing, cock ring.

I do mean on your pole,

Santa baby, and hurry down my chimney tonight,

Hurry down my chimney tonight,

Hurry down my chimney tonight

~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Now... that's more like it!

Perfect Companion

My fair-weather friend called this morning, while I was getting ready for work. Good ole Bon! Ever since I found out I couldn't depend on her to be there for me, I've pretty much not encouraged her to keep close contact. And if I'm not in the mood to talk, I cut the conversation immediately.

But this morning I had some time to spare and thought I would see what was up. She hemmed around her real reason for calling, opting for feeling me out first. I let her make small talk, until she felt that I wasn't going to cut her off before she got to her real reason for calling.

Naturally it was about her guy. She complained about the things he doesn't do. Though the things he does are really wonderful things...she still finds fault with him. What kills me is that she "pities" me for not settling down. How ironic I think. Because I am settled. She's restless one.

What slaughtered my semi-serious facade during our conversation was when she said that she wished her honey pie was more like Kevin K. At first, I was totally confused. The name sounded familiar but I couldn't connect it to one of the 2 great loves that she usually compared her guy to. So I gave in and asked who Kevin K. was... and then proceeded to laugh at her answer--which was... Kevin K, the guy in our 10th grade English class that used to write poems to her.

THAT KEVIN K???? Her memory sure isn't stable. Though she disagrees, mine is correct, those weren't poems he wrote--they were more like dirty rhymes. And there was nothing poetic about them...and... he said them to all the girls, not just her. Now why she's romanticizing him I have no idea but I've learned from the past that you can't always understand the theories behind her reasoning.

After a mild round of I'm right-you're wrong, I finally asked her why didn't she accept the guy as he was. Because at 41, he wasn't going to change much. She answered with a question, "Why can't he figure out what I need him to be?"

Like I said, you can't always understand her thinking. Bon and her quest of making her man the perfect companion! Her next request sent me into an excuse to hang up... that I should put myself in her place!! How the hell can I do that when I can't understand where she's coming from???

An Ode

Is there justice in shadows?
Dark crevices that hide
the secrets of pleasure
that so quietly pose
as if taking note of perfection?

Light directs magic
across curvatures and lines
letting me believe that
paradise can live on
the surface of flesh.

You ask me questions
about desire that mirrors
in the shadows of my eyes,
highlighting the need to
find the path to paradise.

Assumptions are made
on the dips and rises of
paradise's curves that lay
at my supple fingertips.
We know the hidden meaning,
even if no one else does.

~ ~ ~ ~
An ode that really does have a hidden meaning...I find it a thrill to be able to take a simple ode and make it into a gift...one that is sultry and full of mischief.

Rainy day

We're beseiged by rain...scattered rain. When I was leaving for work this morning, the rain drops were huge and fell around me. I literally walked between them. Was a surreal moment.

Tried to see if I could get the oldies station in Greenville. Usually when its rainy or overcast it comes in clear. A music block was starting and "Can't buy me Love" came on. I like the Beatles but didn't feel motivated enough to listen so I pressed buttons and came across one of my favorite driving songs, "Butterfly"... "Come come come come my lady, you're my butterfly sugar baby." Sorry John, Paul, Ringo and George but that song won out and I jammed all the way to work.

Thinking of downloading it and making a mix of it for belly dancing!

Soup, Frosty and Slippers

When I got home, Mom was here with William. They were working on the tree I still haven't finished. He asked to stay tonight and I said he could but only if his mom said it was ok. So we called her and she gave us the green light. Mom left, which I was glad about. She spends more time telling what I need to do than she should. I bite my tongue alot, because its better to let her ramble on than to start an argument.

William has some new slippers which crack me up. They're huge--made to look like sneakers with one of the characters from the Incredibles. I took a picture tonight. Once I reload the hello program I'll post it. Guess who had to get her slippers? Yep...me!

I made soup tonight.. a thai recipe I found. Wasn't too bad. William helped me stir it. He would take the spoon and say, "Eat it, Aunt Sherrie." I would pretend to and then run over to the sink and pretend to drink water. lol.. silly game but he loved it.

While Will and I were cooking, he sang Christmas songs and killed Frosty the Snowman. "Frosty the snowman was a holly bally pole, with a pork chop ice and a glutton nose and two pipes made out of go." lol... I can't remember the rest of it.

While we ate supper, he pretended to cast spells on me with his Harry Potter wand. I think we forgot to reverse the last one, which turned me into a spider on roller skates.

After supper he got a bath and we played some games on the computer. I was playing a Toy Story 2 checkers game while he observed and gave a commentary about it. It was almost over and I was losing because I listened to his commentary more than I watched my opponent (Bullseye of all 'people')...and William took my free hand and said, "You're doing a good job, Aunt Sherrie. I'm proud of you." Something I do with him all the time. Encourage him, because that's something we all need I think. It warmed my heart--hearing him give me the same sincere encouragement. It's moments like these I wouldn't trade for a million dollars, because I couldn't be any wealthier.

Is today over yet?

What a day! Been a busy little worker bee. Dad's been goofing off and I've had to answer the phone, argue with the printer and deal with people who don't know how to act civilized...yeah its been that kinda day!

Let's see.. what's can I write that happened today that was funny, silly or just plain happy....

An 18-yr-old guy asked if I dated guys younger than me. Now that's always a great compliment. So as not to crush him, I told him I would think about it. He said he would get back with me in a week... lol

~ ~ ~ ~

A woman called and asked if I had a tiara that she could borrow. Now mind you, I have no idea why she thought we would have one. I told her I didn't. But what I wanted to say was, "I might be the Queen Bee around here but that didn't mean I was crowned."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I thought this was funny: According to DJ JD Santa's best pick up line is "I put the scroo in scooge.. I've got your 12 inch elf right here."

Beware of Santas baring strange elfves.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~
On that ... I'll send this along and get back to work.

Spring in December

Would you believe people are wearing shorts and tank tops today??? I can't get over it. Even if its warm, there's still a slight chill in the air. I want to say...'Come on people. It's December. Show some respect for the holidays."

Leave it to William

Went to the post office a few mins ago and stopped at the daycare to ask mom something. She was getting her stuff together so she and the nephews could leave ontime today. Both boys hugged me tightly and William says, "Aunt Sherrie I have something for you." He hands me a white paper with this written on it:

H u v e 4 i s
o n t f w o v r

Afraid to ask but asking anyway, I said, "What does it say?"

He smiled. "Help is on the way."

Just what I need... a rescue. Now how did he know that?

Paths

I woke up in a solemn mood today. Don't know why, maybe my dreams were solemn. I've been quieter than normal, even Dad has noticed. I've been concentrating on my projects today and there are more than one that are rather tricky. While my printer is busy working, I thought I would write out some of my solemnness.

Ran into a good friend--Cindy I haven't seen since spring. I was coming out of the bakery with coffee and she was going in. We stood outside and chatted for a good 15 mins. Catching up and such...I didn't have a lot of news to share. When I told her about my poetry book being published she said she knew about it...that Allen had told her. I guess my facial expression flickered a look of shock before I could control it because she put her hand on my arm. She then proceeded to explain where she saw him and so on... its not important so I'm not going to write it here. She ran into him and the conversation was mainly about me. That I'm not surprised about.

What surprised me was that he remembered I had a book coming out! While we were together he never remembered anything I told him about myself. I know it had to do with his being drunk or drinking during the times I spilled my soul to him. Allen always told me the same old stories and I knew them by heart--but that's because I was sober and could remember them. When I would tell him something for the 10th time, it was new.

I'll never forget our last Christmas together...how I really hoped he would be able to make the changes I needed so that we could still be together...but he proved he couldn't and never would when we were decorating his little tree and the movie A Fish Called Wanda came on. I remember laughing and saying...how I love Monty Python. He looked surpried and said, "You like Monty Python? I do too. Wow, I didn't know that. I love how I learn something new about you every day." I remember looking at him and feeling more of our foundation crumbling under my feet. I had told him that four years before how I loved Monty Python and probably told him 20 times during those four years together. To him, I would always be new and exciting....to me, he wouldn't. I knew all his stories by heart and that broke my heart, because he would never know mine.

And here he goes and remembers something important to me.

Cindy said I should give him another chance. That maybe this time we would be on the same path. I smiled at her politely as I shook my head. I had changed too much. There was no going back. We hugged and went separate ways.

But she's got me to thinking about paths. Isn't life a path? And everything about it on a path of some sort? Our body is made up of veins and arteries where blood travels constantly, of brain waves traveling via our nervous system, oh I could go on but I wont'---you get the picture. Our thoughts travel. Our communications do too... paths ... all around us.

Love and relationships are on paths too--a constant travel. From day one, a person starts their journey. As they grow, they encounter people along the way--some just passing and some traveling down the same road. But often that journey is limited, because of all the detours and hidden paths along the way. Oh think of what's ahead and all the possibilites, so many wonderful roads to chose I think. Thinking like this gives me hope, but I'm realistic too.

For example, look at the road I traveled with Allen. We met in a whirlwind of music and dance. It lit up our separate paths with electric blue light, so bright I'm amazed we could see that were were at a cross road, and chosing the same path. For a while, the journey together was bright. We found newness in flowers and song. When a pothole appeared, we managed to pull each other out of them. But after a while a shift occurred, I began to watch for potholes and Al didn't. He fell into them time and time again, even when I pointed them out. The view we enjoyed became lost, as we concentrated on pulling him out of everyhole in the road. That's no way to travel. He pulled me down with him in the end. I couldn't let my soul sink and die there with him. So I made a conscious choice to take a different path. Poor Allen is still on the old path, looking back at our footsteps.

The road I'm on now hasn't been easy. Much of it, I've been alone on, though I do have occasion moments were I find friends along the way who are there with me...some of our paths parallel and we smile and share the same views. But its been a long time it seems that I've had someone to hold my hand as I walk along my path--someone who touches my soul and makes the flowers before me bloom in shades that I could never create alone. And I'm okay with this...okay with the road before me. Yes there are still potholes there, but I find ways to miss them...maybe because I'm not looking so far ahead down the path. I'm enjoying each step I take, each flower and bird that flies by and I can't think of a better path to be traveling on, even if I'm alone.

Mr Sunshine

I can't believe its like 78 degrees outside. Yesterday it was very cold and rainy. Today its so bright and sunny. Not at all a regular day in Decemeber. How am I suppose to write frosty December poetry if its mild as spring outside?

Hello

I just figured out why the hello program (the picture program for blogspot) keeps disappearing. My spy assassin program recognizes it as a worm and removes it.

The Wednesday before T-day, Mom decides to move furniture around and clean the baseboards. Lisa and Ben came over. Ben is wearing his Woody outfit. He decided to climb on Mom's back (after I told him she was Bullseye). I took this shot before going to work. Notice all the toys?
Posted by Hello

The Plaza Tree.... on Friday night. Unlit! And no those aren't spirit orbs... they're reflections on the lens. The tree is in the center of the fountain.
Posted by Hello

Scroogette

I think I'm Scroogette this year. No Christmas spirit. My mother and brother have commented on it, because the Christmas tree has been up since the day after Thanksgiving and it has a fourth of the ornaments on it ...and that's due to Mom and the boys. Wait... I did put 3 ornaments on it last Friday. There are still two huge plastic storage boxes full of stuff that I haven't touched. Mom and her John put lights up outside and I haven't gone out to look.

If you've known me for years, then you'll know my nickname around Christmas time is Sherrie Claus or the Present Fairy, because I get excited. I make a Santa list. Wrap my presents as I buy them and then walk around singing, "I got YOU a pres-sent...and I KNOW what it is-ss.." which drives my brother batty. He says, "Of course you know what is it. YOU bought it." I always give the same reply, "So what's your point!"

Maybe I'll get a visit from the three Christmas goats...

Bob Dylan on Destiny

I watched the Dylan interview on 60 Mins last night.

In his book, Bob says that he knew even then that he was destined to become a music legend. "I was heading for the fantastic lights," he writes. "Destiny was looking right at me and nobody else."

What does the word "destiny" mean to Dylan? "It's a feeling you have that you know something about yourself - nobody else does - the picture you have in your mind of what you're about will come true," says Dylan. "It's kind of a thing you kind of have to keep to your own self, because it's a fragile feeling. And if you put it out there, somebody will kill it. So, it’s best to keep that all inside."

This struck a chord. I believe he's right. Isn't destiny really a dream that comes true?

Sher News

PA sent the final proof of my poetry book to me Friday. I have to go over it and make any corrections and send them to them. Once that's done, the art department will contact me on my cover and after I approve that--the book will be finalized and published. Maybe by Feb I'll have a hard copy in my hands. I'm excited and very nerovus. lol

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I got my first Christmas card today. Its from Martha and Jerry. I should get busy on mine. Maybe I'll get William and Ben to help me this year lol.

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Sat morn, Mom brewed some coffee with the coffee maker. William asked why was the coffee making noise. She told him it was brewing the coffee. A little while later I heard him playing with his Harry Potter figure. "Harrrrry Pooooottttteer, keep me away from the coffee. Don't let it get on me. Ahhhhhh I'm falling." I think that's the first time I've heard him incorporate something from real life into his make-believe. It amazed me.

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I looked at the calendar a minute ago. Dec. 6. Just think in 20 days, I'll be hitting the after Christmas sales. lol

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I had a longer entry written earlier but it was eaten by the internet monster known as the 'white page.'

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Survivor... finally Miss Queen Bee was de-throned. What happened to losing gracefully? She flipped them the finger when she left...CBS tried to blur it out but I could still see it. I really don't care who wins now...as long as it isn't Scout.

Jeff Probst... he looked fine this Thursday. I keep thinking about him and honey... and time. I'll stop there. lol

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Tonight we've got the Christmas tree lighting ceremony Downtown. Dad's taking Santa pictures. Hmm... I think I need to corner Santa before he leaves...find out why I didn't get what I wanted last year--an intelligent male stripper in a lime thong, my own adult toy store and an endless supply of batteries...or if none of those were available...a billion dollars. Santa better have a good explanation.

Today's Silly Link

Ugly Christmas Lights

Can we say Chevy Chase?

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Thanks DJ JD for the link. I think every town has houses like these.

Jones and Palm Fronds

Jones came in yesterday to drop off some boxes for our Lab lady. All sexy in his brown UPS uniform, wearing shorts because he can. I was filling out the check and making small talk about work loads, etc. Suddenly he said, "You've got it made."

I gave him a long look over the top of my specs. I've got it made??? He's the one who took 4 weeks off to vacation in Mexico. I went back to what I was doing. I didn't look up from the checkbook as I said, "Well if that were true, Jones, I would be on a tropical beach somewhere, sipping Pina Coladas while oiled naked native men fanned me with palm fronds and feed me grapes."

"Dammmmmnnnnnnnn, you've got that fantasy down to a tee."

I didn't comment. Just handed him the check, signed the computer thingie they use (My signature was "Island Goddess") and told him to have a nice day.

now for the local news

.....
UNC-P is finally getting another football team after 53 years. The season should start in 2007. Lots of people are excited. Or at least pretending to be.

.....
Downtown Lumberton is getting a parking deck sometime next year. About 10 yrs too late. Half the stores are closed. But I guess I should look on the bright side, the church people will have plenty places to park.

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Monday Dec 6 is the Lighting of the Downtown Christmas Tree. I think at 6 pm. Santa will arrive in a sleigh. (making a note to self: Download the hello photo program). I'll make sure I take some photos.

Whirligig in my head

I woke up with "Run to the Hills" by Iron Maiden, playing in my head. Subliminal messaging?

my word for today

I've got a whirligig of thoughts droning in my head.

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Wish I could remember which of those words in the sentence above is my word for today!!!

Drinks and Sparkling Conversation

There's a parking lot around the corner from the studio where I park the truck. Its right across from the new grille. I've mentioned it before. Tonight it was packed full of vehicles. I have to really concentrate when I back out of my spot, because I'm used to being the only car to leave after 6 pm!

No I didn't back into anyone... I almost backed over some bodies though.. those bodies were old friends. I rolled the truck window down and we chatted a min. I was invited to join them for a drink. They were early for their reservations and planned to have a drink or two at the bar. I hesitated briefly... it was Carolyn and Joe--a married couple that used to pal around sometimes with Al and me. I had seen them around here and there. We would say hi and they always ask about Al.

Tonight was no exception. Joe blocked my path and wouldn't move, so I complied and re-parked the truck. I felt under-dressed in jeans and a sweater but figured one drink wouldn't hurt. After we found a place at the bar and ordered, they both asked about Al. I really don't know how he's doing. I haven't talked to him since June when he called and we discussed my up and coming poetry book.

For a few minutes there was an uncomfortable silence. Some people think I shouldn't have given up on Al. Their disappointment in me is clear, even if they don't know its showing. Carolyn broke the silence by bringing up fun times we four once had. I wonder if she realized how sad it made me... how bittersweet those memories are. No naturally she wouldn't. She and Joe never knew the person Al really was--most alcoholics are good-time party people. They usually left before the one drink that pushed him over the limit, the one that changed him into either a bitter drunk or a sad one.

So I smiled and I laughed and I drank fast. I could have told them how things really were, but then that would change their memories of Al. Why spoil it for them? As I left, I drove home slowly thinking how I had once again covered for Al. How ironic that I am still doing it. For a moment I was angry but then it hit me, I didn't cover for Al. I chose not to expose him and that's an entirely different state.... and....

I know all about soft underbellies.

Your new word for today is....

...blog.

My friend DJ JD asked if I knew that blog was one of the new words for 2004. Yes I did. I saw the headline on yahoo. While I ironed a tablecloth that refused to concede to the battle of the iron, I thought of how much I love blogging. How easy it is to expose my underbelly to the world of bloggers.

Living in a fish bowl doesn't really describe it. Its more like carrying a clear plastic handbag around. There you can see my crumpled kleenex, the tampon I mistake for a pen and can never find when I really need it, the business cards that are given to me in odd places that eventually get used to write notes on, the endless supply of flavored lipstick and my loose change... the list goes on.

There are times when I don't think about what I'm writing and how available it is to the world, due to being online. Like someone said once to me..."its hard to hide online." So it is...

I have to smile now, as I type this because behind every word is a real person, who lives and dreams just like you do. My everyday world doesn't see what's written here, the thoughts usually full of humor or the regrets and heartaches that have created the person I am... not many really know me, not like you do...those that take time to read the often silly meanderings of mine.

So here's a toast to blogging and to the ability to express myself in ways I never dreamt I would years ago...

cheers...

Don't it make my eyes ... green

I'm working late tonight. Dad has two photo shoots to do in Pembroke. So here I am. Working late... later than usual anyways. Its quiet now. Most of the stores have closed. The hammering at the courthouse has stopped. Traffic is almost non-existant. Its like a veil's been pulled over downtown, and if you look closely you can see objects moving in the distance.

I ran into one of the other merchants the other day at the post office. He's across the street and down a few stores. He was the town Lady Killer. What I mean by that is he loved 'em and left 'em. I think I probably have been one of the few who was an equal in the game of flirtation. Or rather one of the few that didn't fall at his feet because he thought (A direct quote) "the blues of your eyes make the sky jealous." I confess, we've flirted since 1994, but kept it at that. I think we enjoyed trying to see who could out 'comeback' the other. I mostly won, btw.

Well, he recently got married. When I saw him, I congratulated him. Told him I hope it works out. Course I didn't tell him that my best-friend Mary and I have a bet that he'll be separated or divorced by Oct. 31, 2005. I'm betting he'll be married. She thinks he won't. Mainly because her ex-daughter-in-law was one of his victims of the 'love 'em and leave 'em' game.

He asked when I was getting married. I laughed. Told him I had no plans to. Then he said, "You should get married. That way you'll have someone to hold at night, to buy you Christmas presents, to cuddle with at night and go places with..." He went on a long drawn out list of things that Married People can do together.

I said, "I don't need to be married to do all that." Before I could elaborate, he mentioned how the green top I had on made my eyes look green instead of blue. Ahh... the flirtation continues. As does the 'comeback' competition.

So I smiled a Sherrie smile. Then said over my shoulder as I walked away, "Maybe I'm jealous the sky was so blue today."

Daylight

Daylight has come,
but we ignore it
as your lips kiss
tattoos on my skin.

Daylight, so bright
it burns our eyes,
but doesn't touch
the shadows of us.

We're clothed in
kama sutra secrets
so subtle that darkness
overpowers our day.

Night's lusty embrace
is our world and now
only in our dreams do
we dance in daylight

I feel like ME again... good news for some...bad news for others. lol

Some silly links

What Window's does while you are away:
The Icon Story!

It's the Icon Story.

and also I scripted a movie and Hollywood made it into a major production... just for your viewing pleasure

Grab a bag of M&M'S(R) Chocolate Candies, a soft drink and some popcorn because you're about to watch Sherrie ~Genius Script Writer 's movie. Check it out now!

Sherrie ~Genius Script Writer

December Arrives

with jingle bells and candy canes--sugar and spice and all that's nice. Did I add enough 'ands' in there?

Good news-bad news.

Good news is.. I'm finally feeling better today. No fever and my sinuses don't ache. I can bend over without my face feeling as if its going to crack into a million spidery pieces. Though I am tired and groggy. But still.. I'm here and working. Dad's screwed up a major order I have to re-restore. But that's how it is this time of year. And my PC froze on me and I lost 3 files that were ready to print. Somehow I've kept calm. Maybe its the dope I'm on. Or maybe its because its Dec and I can't stop the year from running out of time.

Bad news is...I didn't finish typing up my novel before deadline. To be honest, I knew yesterday morning I couldn't do it. I had spent Fri-Mon, typing while sick. Not a good thing. I happened to glance over what I had typed up and saw gross errors. My word count was a little over 36, 000 I think. With a fever blazing and a head aching, I knew I couldn't type fast enough to finish. Oh I could have tried hard to do it, but then I might not have been able to get out of bed today. So I sacrificed a goal--a challenge I had set for myself for my health. At first I said it was maturity that made the decision, but Jo pointed out that it was self-preservation. And she's right--it was.

So I didn't make the challenge. I did it last year. I could have done it this year, probably if I hadn't of written such an intricate plot. Last year's story was in my heart. It wrote itself. This year's is in my head, twisting and turning. In fact, this morning I thought of a twist to add to the story. Yes... I plan to continue posting it. I'm not going to type another line until I get what I've typed sorted into some order.

In case you're interested, I posted 2 more chapters.

http://www.thelamplighter.blogspot.com